My Family Crest: The Hinckleys

I was so excited when my cousin Cliff found our Hinckley Family Crest. Over the past ten years or so, my interest in my mother’s family history has grown. I am so proud of where my ancestors have been, what they accomplished, and what it means for my potential. Don’t get me wrong, I get that it wasn’t me who came over in the 1600s and paved the way for future generations of privilege, but I can still take pride in it right?

So imagine my excitement when he called and said he’d emailed me the crest.

“That’s so cool! Why don’t you sound excited? You have been searching for it forever. Great job!”

“Well, there is one little problem.”

I stopped short. I became wary. My family is plagued by little problems.

“What’s the problem?”

“Well, it’s the motto,” he said. That’s the problem.”

“What the hell is the motto?”

“Well it’s in French, which we know isn’t my first language, but best I can tell it means, ‘I can change only when I die.’”

Well, there is a show stopper.

“I’m on it,” I said. “Will get back to you.”

I was married to a Frenchman, and the one thing I know for sure about the French language is that it’s always got some underlying meaning or double entendre. My mother-in-law, who was a great mentor to me, once told me when she was trying to teach me the language and the confusion over what is feminine versus masculine, said to me, “Think of it this way, Christine. If it’s something you would want or need, like a fork, it’s masculine. If it’s something that is of little worth, like a spoon, it’s feminine.” She never sugar-coated the truth.

So, I emailed my ex the motto in French, confident that there would be some other interpretation we could use.

His reply was swift and brief. It means, “I change only on my deathbed.” Looks like he was a man of firm convictions. Or a short lifespan.”

My ex always did have a great sense of humor; that was never our problem. I called my cousin confident in my solution.

“Look, it took you years to find it. We can change it. We can have my graphic designer re-work it. Honor, Courage…