I still miss Cristina Yang, from Grey’s. Just as we might do for a family member who has end-stage cancer, we have to take some time to prepare for Cristina Yang’s departure from Grey’s Anatomy. I, for one, am not sure I can continue to watch it after she leaves. I believe she might be one of the greatest female characters ever written for TV.

When I tell friends and family that she is my favorite Grey Girl, they tell me she is the meanest character on the show and I should never aspire to be her. I don’t think she’s mean at all. I think she’s misunderstood. I think her drive — her vision through her personal windshield, her single-minded determination to be the best surgeon of her generation — is a goal that should be treated with awe and respect instead of disdain. It’s a goal we should honor just as we would honor her if she wanted to have ten children. Her mentor in Minnesota understood her worth, and his words rang in her ears as she walked away from Minnesota after his death during one of their groundbreaking operations together.

“Breathe Dr. Yang. Don’t be crass. You’re skulking. Women of your generation are graceless. It’s an affront to nature. Mediocre surgeons will see you and feel themselves wilting in your shadow. Do not shrink to console them. Do not look for friends here. You won’t find them. None of these people have the capacity to understand you. They never will. If you are lucky, one day when you are old and shriveled like…